The Olympics are just around the corner - but so are Rio's criminals, viruses and drug cheats!
No hot water, faulty plumbing, exposed electrical wires – some of the things you’d expect to find on an episode of Houso’s in the ever vibrant suburb of Sunnyvale. You wouldn’t expect to hear of such issues stemming from the athlete’s lodges at the Olympic Games. Our Australian contingent of athletes recently arrived in Rio only to find the conditions of the athlete’s lodges “uninhabitable” with a representative claiming 10 of the 31 buildings were classed in this way. Our athletes would have better odds at shacking up with a local at this rate. Our neighbours in alphabetical order twice removed, the Argentinians have had similar complaints, with the country being allocated 5 floors of a building and only 3 of those floors having been completed. Unfortunately, the two aforementioned countries weren't as resourceful as the ever trendy Italians, who resorted to flying in their own tradesman to help the local tradies meet their deadlines. In the lead up to the games it has been well documented that Brazil was going to be under some pressure to deliver a successful Olympic Games, but nobody foresaw some of the dramas that have come about. We’ll give Brazil a pass for the Zika virus, I’m sure they didn’t conjure that up but its definitely scared away big name golfers, with Jordan Speith, Rory McIlroy and Dustin Johnson among other eligible participants opting out of the Games. Other than the Zika virus, Brazil has managed to serve up water pollution 1.7 million times more hazardous than any beach in the U.S, Human body parts washing ashore near the beach volleyball venues, an athlete from New Zealand being kidnapped and robbed by police, and not to mention two members of Australia's Paralympics team were robbed. That’s all without even mentioning the farce that has become of the Russian team who have had a number of athlete’s banned due to being found guilty of doping. Old mate Eduardo Paes, the Mayor of Rio, admitted that the housing of the Australian team was the worst by a samba line and a half, I’m probably paraphrasing a bit there, and that we “have a right to complain”. Good to know that our Aussie representatives have kept our reputation intact as not being a bunch of whingers without reason. Maybe it's the Samba sounds in the air or the fact Old Ronaldo before he had one too many Brazilian BBQ's was my idol as a kid, but I've got a feeling Brazil might actually pull this off. I see them putting up enough fireworks, shaking enough booty's and playing enough David Guetta tracks between events to make everybody say Hakuna Matata and end up with a memorable Olympic Games. Nik Hatzi