We unveil the standout runners in the Melbourne Cup of loose racing spectators
1. Swing And A Miss
This lady must reckon she's Ronda Rousey. Miss blue dress starts off harmlessly stumbling around, then suddenly tries to deck the man she's clinging on to. Strike one. Our would-be UFC fighter follows up with some ground game, but it doesn't take long before she collects herself and attempts another sucker-punch. Strike two. Next she sees an easier target and swings at a young girl who's still wondering what's just happened. Strike three and it's lights out. Security finally manage to remove her and the crowd goes wild.
2. The Fox-Lover
Craig's enjoying a quiet weekend at the races, only to cave in to some peer pressure from the lads. In what's probably the highlight of his life, the big boy goes to shag a fox statue in front of adoring punters. While Craig manages decent job of getting nasty with it and laps up the applause, a more experienced head decides to show him how it's done. Our streaker drops it all and goes "Nah mate, THIS is how you f**k a fox". Oddschecker does not endorse or encourage bestiality.
3. That's Not A Horse!
What happens at a bachelor party, stays amongst bachelors. Unless of course, you make it on to Sky Racing's highlights. Although the commentator couldn't care less, the husband-to-be decides to join the horses as they race down the straight. Dressed in his very best birthday suit, he even manages to put in an excellent faceplant across the line. Sadly for punters backing him at juicy odds, our streaker placed a tight fifth in a photo finish. Unofficially, he won by about three inches.
4. The Punter's Pusher
The biggest idiot from last year's Melbourne Cup must be Sarah Finn. Clearly chasing her fifteen minutes of fame, she asks a film crew what she had to do to get on the telly. With Channel 7 desperate for ratings, the crew reportedly told her "yeah, maybe if you push that cop over". In an absolute brain fade, she decides to oblige and then acts incredibly surprised when the policeman's colleagues dare to arrest her. An $800 dollar fine later, this lass must have rocks for brains.
5. Urine Luck
They say when you've got to go, you've got to go. Professional soccer player, James Collins figured he'd save himself a trip to the men's room and take advantage of his d-grade celebrity status by taking a leak off the Cheltenham balcony. Punters below deck probably had a brief moment enjoying their "champagne shower", only to quickly realise they'd made a horrendous mistake. Collins is now banned from all racecourses in the UK. Next time, there's always Todd Carney's tried and trusted bubbler option.
6. Drunk Irishman
Desperate to get a bet on a supposed 'sure thing', this drunk Irishman puts in the climb of his life in an attempt to reach the betting ring. You'd think he was attempting to summit Everest with how difficult he makes this gentle ascent look.
A real highlight comes at 47 seconds, when the Irishman reaches down to pick up a paper and seems to start studying the form guide. You've got to love that commitment to the punt!
The scenes of jubilation when he eventually reaches the summit really makes the hairs stand on end. A true sporting miracle!
Written by Tim Alexander